


it will go away (hopefully)

by Rinzaku_da_k



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Gen, MC is very not apparent here, No Game Spoilers, Pining, at least not obvious ones, lowkey character study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:42:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28015665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rinzaku_da_k/pseuds/Rinzaku_da_k
Summary: It was hard, having a crush and all.(The Avatar of Sloth has a crush. No big problem. It isn't like it's going to stay forever. And seriously? No one has expected something like that from Belphegor.)
Relationships: Asmodeus & Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Beelzebub & Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Belphegor & Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Belphegor & Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Belphegor & Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Belphegor & Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)
Kudos: 8





	it will go away (hopefully)

Belphegor, the Avatar of Sloth, developed a crush.

It all happened so slowly and over time that then the realization suddenly came, he wasn't sure how to deal with it.

He notices it, as he was reflecting on the day and then his thoughts were wandering off to his behaviour recently. What else would he be doing late at night while lying in bed? Sleep came to him as easily as breathing was, so you couldn't really blame him for not taking the chance to think when everything in the House of Lamentation was calm without the daytime buzz (Even though it's technically never daytime in the Devildom, but that's another topic for another time.)

His usual routine before drifting off into a good-night-sleep is simple. He reflects, then clears his head and at last, he shuts down his mind and falls asleep. It can be a fast process, but sometimes it can also take hours and even the whole night. Whenever the latter happens, the next day Belphie would be in a very foul mood, that was more spiteful than his usual self. Not going to lie though, he found it sometimes pretty fun to be in that kind of predicament, as it very much annoyed everyone around.

There were many reasons why he would stay awake. Most times his mind was clouded by the regrets and griefs of the past. Sometimes it was because of the upsetting things his somewhat dysfunctional family or anyone else did during the day. And then just recently at the moment, something new and completely unfamiliar joined his reasons for staying awake.

Obviously, what happened back then with the Celestial War and its aftermath will still be a part of Belphie's reoccurring thoughts, as that shapes him to the demon that he was to that day. But now it seemed to have subdued and another thing has taken up the most place in his time.

It was a shock nonetheless when he himself noted that change of attitude. Belphie had described himself as who was gushier and more gentle than usual. Moreover, he founds out he acted more like the main character in a romance novel that Satan criticises for its depiction of love or like the main character in a shoujo manga that Leviathan always cries about how beautiful the story was crafted. Just the difference was that Belphegor wasn't the main character of any fictional romance story and a happy ending was definitely not guaranteed for him.

After a while, after he became aware of the fact that he had fallen for somebody, he was more on guard these days. Scared that the person of interest will find out about his strange predicament and also concerned what will happen if they found out since Belphie was very content with the relationship he shared with them. Change wasn't something welcoming for him, even if it may be for his benefit. But if things just stay as they were, he will be more than enough satisfied with it.

~*~

Trying to act like everything was as it always has been in front of his twin brother was difficult. And that was just putting it mildly.

Even though Beel can be oblivious like a rock and still wouldn't understand it if you explain it to him, his quiet demeanour makes him sometimes very observant to his surroundings. As that one wordplay always went, 'Still water runs deep.' Especially would Beel notice something more quickly if it involves a change in attitude and in particular; a fall out with emotions.

Admittedly speaking his brothers won't change much during an extended period of time and if Belphie was right with his deduction about Beel's way of thinking, the youngest certainly and couldn't change. He was the lazy baby brother, the one who can't let go of the past and still be bitter about it. Whenever Belphegor was acting more friendly and when his sly smiles were noticed by his brothers it was always out of the ordinary. But if he was rougher around the edges on other days, they all pass it up as the 'usual Belphie.'

Yet somehow Belphegor wasn't that to both extents since the last days any more.

“Lately you've been more energetic than usual,” Beel said to him after the both of them were lying in their respective beds in their shared bedroom and the light was already turned off. Only the lights of the sun and moon symbols behind were faintly glowing in the dark. “Huh, and what makes you think that?”

“Well, I've seen you hanging around with us and others more than taking a nap or something like that instead.” Even though Beel could see something like that most of the times he can't make out what these indications meant. Belphie was glad that this was the case because if Beel realizes Belphie had an infatuation with somebody, it would make things more complicated and that was a hassle. Surely Beel wouldn't ask who that somebody was, but just the knowledge of that there exists a somebody for Belphie was making infatuated dreading the thought of Beel finding out about it.

It wasn't on that day though, as Belphie just told him he was imagining things. How could somebody like Belphegor ever socialize with others on his own free will? Not that he was acting like Leviathan, who doesn't socialize because he is a shut-in who communicates through the digital way more. He just didn't have the motivation to put some effort into his relationships.

Beel didn't talk to him about that the next days. But one time at their planned movie-night he shared his ice cream bucket with the youngest out of nowhere. With gentle glances at Belphie, Beel had chosen a dramatic movie with a bittersweet ending.

~*~

He may be wasn't that close to Asmodeus as he was with Beelzebub, but Asmo was the Avatar of Lust after all and a super noisy demon too. Not to mention, he must surely know a lot about this romance stuff, as he was the one who was the most in touch with these feelings.

It happened when Belphie was in the kitchen and was making heart-shaped chocolates that when the auburn-haired demon walked into the room and saw the arrangement. The cookbook, that was placed and lying open on the workplace showed a picture of these supposedly chocolate-pieces and Asmo just had to see that. A keen eye he owned.

“Belphie~,” he calls out to the other who was sweating and wiping his forehead, though he was unsure if the sweat was down to the heat of the stove or the embarrassment he felt, “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” Asmo giggles and in next moment Belphie notices the fifth-born next to him, sniffing at the smell of the first batch which was lying on one of the plates.

“Oh, I just wanted to hear it coming from you,” Asmo said with a smile on his face and Belphie actively avoided looking at Asmo. Sometimes it felt for the youngest that Asmo could look into his eyes and can immediately tell what he was feeling at the moment, which was scary. He had to admit though, that Asmodeus' gaze is the most intense one from his brothers.

“You can see what I'm doing so get out.” “Ow, rude.” Nevertheless, Asmo didn't leave the room. Instead, he just moved to lean on the counter while Belphie was trying his best to carry forward without letting his panic overtaking him. “But I get it.”

“What are you talking about?” “Well, Valentine's is coming up.” Belphie nodded. He could hear Asmo's smug tone in his voice while the older demon continued, “Is it why you are here? Making these little hearts to confess to your love?”

“Who is it, Belphie?” Belphie stayed quiet. It didn't take long that he took out a baking glove and without a moment of hesitation slaps it across Asmo's head.

Asmo too surprisingly didn't mention that incident the next days and it seemed like anyone else didn't know about that too. When Belphie saw Asmo on Valentine's Day, while Belphie had the chocolates in his bag, the other was just smirking at him knowingly but averted his eyes.

~*~

Satan was dangerously perceptive if he wanted to be, and when wasn't he?

After all, he was born from Lucifer's wrath, so why shouldn't he share some of his characteristics with the oldest? As Simeon one time called them out, he mentioned that Lucifer, Satan and Belphie were the more quick-witted and perhaps sharper of the brothers and he does found to agree with that statement. Not that Belphie liked it to be put in the same shelf as Lucifer and it was probably more annoying to Satan, even though he may look put together on the outside.

But maybe the books Satan reads made him more perceptive with the psychological state of demons and humans and maybe even of the angels. As the fourth-born always likes to say was that knowledge lies within books and that knowledge is power and that people will respect someone knowledgeable. Belphie is sure that because the older one reads that much, he is truly intimidating when it comes to understanding certain things and seeing different perspectives.

Why wouldn't it be surprising that one day Satan approaches him and asks him why he was so nervous lately? It actually surprising was in the end. Why would Satan even care about him?

“I'm not.” “You clearly are,” Satan counters and then fishes out a book out of the bag he was carrying, “Here.” Belphie cautiously accepts the book, a notebook at a closer glance and notices a pen being clipped in the rings of the binder.

“Thanks, but why?” Belphegor said once he flipped it open and studies the blank pages without any printed lines. “I thought it would be good if you could collect your thoughts on paper,” the blonde said with his usual pretence smile.

“So it's basically a diary.” He hasn't denied that. Admittedly Belphie was hesitant about this ordeal. Surely it was nice of Satan to gift him that, as to showcase that the demon does care about his brothers, but Belphie wasn't one who was making the trouble of writing his overflowing thoughts down, which were vile and condescending. Not that he was ashamed of them, because they were a vital part of him, but he didn't want to face them as they do sometimes hurt.

“You don't need to use it,” Satan said after awhile after he seems to notice Belphie drop in mood. In fact, he was grabbing in his bag again.

“I'm sure you would need something good to write about on the first page...” Then Belphie looked up, he saw that Satan all of the sudden was holding a sleeping black-dotted cat up. “So I searched for a cat who looks similar to you and here we are!”

“You know Lucifer would have our heads if he would see us.” Satan shrugged at that and instead with a wicked smile spreading across his face, he thrusts the cat towards Belphegor.

The next days' Satan kept checking in on Belphie and how he was feeling and if he even uses the book (Which he strangely does). It wasn't as he was expecting him pouring his heart out to his dear brother, but more did Satan appreciates it that Belphie does accept his present.

~*~

Leviathan was a shut-in and a nerd, so Belphie was sure that Levi would never found out about his problem. Maybe except if Belphie does hang out with him.

It was just a simple round of that racing game Levi likes and the both of them occasionally play together. Mostly because surprisingly Belphie was the better racer, so Levi often challenges him with the reason he was improving in the game. So the both of them were in Levi's underwater room and playing on the console until Levi has decided to bring it up.

“Y'know, you're kinda less spiteful than usual”, he said casually, while trying to get back on the track through the sand area (Saying he gets better at the game was purely a joke at this point), “Did you found someone to make your heart giggle or what?” “I'm sorry, what?” “Huh?”

Levi had the audacity to sound surprised at that, but Belphegor just sighs. Sometimes Levi's choice of words was to weird for him to understand. It's as if they were speaking two different languages, even though the words they use do exist in the same vocabulary. Well, most times at least.

“You have a crush??” Now Levi sounds exasperated and looks at Belphie with wide eyes. Belphegor shook his head at Levi's exclamation. “No, I don't.” “You totally have!”

While they continue playing with Belphie against Levi with a huge gap between these two, Leviathan was plaguing Belphie with questions about the undeniable crush he harbours. Were they cute? Were they handsome? Were they somebody he personally was familiar with? Were they somebody Belphegor did talk to? Did they know he had that crush on them or are they together?

“No.” “But your face is as red as a tomato though.” Belphie bit his lip at this. Who would have thought that the person he least expected to find out first was his freaking antisocial older brother? Or maybe the others did found about it but decided to mostly stay quiet for his sake. Then that means that Levi was just being –

“Belphie, I really don't care that you thirst over someone.” “Then why are you even asking?” At that Levi was looking up to the ceiling, probably trying to think of an answer as he didn't even have a reason in the first place. The round was already won and Belphie turns to Levi in anticipation.

“I dunno. Maybe it was just a surprise to me.” He seems genuine then he said that.

Leviathan didn't bother with it the next days by talking to Belphegor directly at least. Instead, he has been putting packages in the attic room sometimes where Belphie always found something romance related, would it be a manga, DVD or a video game.

~*~

The Avatar of Greed was a scumbag and an idiot and whatever everyone likes to call him, but he actually wasn't that bad.

By all means, he was still an idiot, but that doesn't mean he is lovesick as he is the complete trope of the Tsundere in person. He blushes, he fights back, he denies and most importantly, he is pretty obvious, so who had thought that Belphie will find such joy in harassing his older brother because of that was absolutely right.

“Shut up, Belphie!” Was the initial reaction Belphegor expected and got from Mammon after he called Mammon out on his cliché behaviour. He already has a response on his tongue, but it went away after he saw Mammon's change in attitude from embarrassed to shockingly smug. He gulped.

“Why don't ya look at yourself before pointin' at others?” Mammon said to him, and Belphie really wished his acting skills haven't disappeared so suddenly. It can't be that Mammon figured him out too, not after that disaster with Leviathan happened!

“Whoa, I really hit the nail on the head, right?” “Shut up, Mammon.” But instead, Mammon just laughs.

“But seriously, ya really act like a school-girl in love – Should I get ya some of Levi's books?” Belphegor pouted, while Mammon was taking his fine time to make fun of him. He was too exhausted for this, as to do something while Mammon was having his fun. Why does his life have to be so hard?

“Ah! How 'bout this – ” Mammon was acting giddy for some reason, as he really was seeing this as a unique opportunity. Right, just bully the sweet little black-sheep of the family, though honestly? Everyone was in some way a black-sheep, just was Belphie a more... complicated issue for the head of the family. Alongside Satan of course, though the blonde demon was always a bit more well-behaved and has tried to fit in. Very boring, but it was alright since Belphie wasn't that much bothered with this kind of turn of events. He really would dislike a full-on rebellious Satan who was dragging everyone else into his schemes, even if they were against Lucifer.

“Belphie, are ya still listenin'?” Why did he drift off? Mammon was right in front of him, waving his arms around to grab the youngest attention. Now he looked annoyed, though Belphie really couldn't understand why. Let him be annoyed, Belphie thought. After all, he was the one continuing with the harassing (Even if Belphegor has started it.)

“Ugh, why is everyone getting on my case...?” “Why do ya get on my case then?” Mammon then sighs and crossed his legs. He knocked on his knees. “Look, as your big brother I will gladly help ya out with ya feelings.” “How about you work out your feelings first?”

“Hey, even if I act like, like a, uh...” Mammon stuttered while his face heated up again after he tried to force his words coming out, “...a Tsundere I guess – That doesn't mean I like someone!” “Uh-uh, tell yourself that.” “Dude, I'm just tryin' to help ya.” Aggravated. That is what Belphie would describe Mammon at that moment, but actually, he really couldn't care less.

“So, just take my advice, okay?” The youngest didn't answer, so Mammon resumed with a cough. “If ya really like someone, like ya wanna smooch them or somethin'–” Even at this point Mammon hesitates. Was he aware that his vocabulary wasn't that exceptional and he would very likely mess his advice up because he just didn't know the word for it –?

“Then ya have to make sure they like ya for who ya are.” “As who I am?” Mammon nodded while Belphie looked at him wide-eyed. “ _As if._ ” “But listen,” Mammon interrupted the already boiling with sarcasm demon, as Mammon was leaning back, but more relaxed this time.

“It's how ya find that out. Ya cannot just go to them and ask them, 'Hey, what do ya think of me?', y'know?” That would be too easy. And life wasn't like that. But still, why did Mammon even had this advice in his mind? Though Belphie supposed that was the privilege of not being lovesick, compared to the others.

The next days luckily Mammon didn't speak to him about that again. He seems to respect Belphie's privacy, which really subverted his expectations of Mammon. It was more than what he has thought of Mammon, so there isn't much room for bitterness in the end.

~*~

When Leviathan, Mammon and Asmodeus found out about his certainly unrequited crush, he had no doubt that everyone else knew about that. Furthermore, he was completely sure that Lucifer knew about his predicament since the beginning.

He was Lucifer, the Avatar of Pride and some jerk who somehow knows everything. Like the Lady Who Knows Everything and yes, Belphie had played that game that Levi has sent to him one day in a box because he should play this “romance game” (Thanks for that, Levi), this skill of him is a curse and a blessing for Lucifer at the same time.

So he avoided the oldest for the longest time, except for the times where they had to be together with everyone else. Belphie still was comfortable enough in that kind of presence, since Lucifer could never talk to him about that, then there were other people around. He also tells himself that Lucifer shouldn't possibly be wanting to talk to him about his situation, as the oldest would probably or hopefully respecting his feelings and let them be. Still, Belphie would not want to catch him alone, that would be horrific.

Except for that one day Lucifer just came up to him and ordered him to go and meet him in his room after dinner.

“Belphegor,” Lucifer greets him after Belphie has walked through the door and leans awkwardly against the door frame. “Yes, what do you want from me?”

“You can drop the act,” Lucifer said, as he was grinning in his usual self-satisfactory self. An annoying, self-satisfactory self. “You already know why I called you here.”

“Don't get me wrong, I am not against you liking someone,” Lucifer began to say, as Belphie's eyes drooped, “And I really couldn't care less, it's after all your business.”

“But what my concerns are is how you seemed so complacent with thinking that you can live by an 'unrequited' interest.”

“Well, that's because it is one–” “But how do you know that?” Lucifer was forceful all of a sudden, as he was irritated by Belphegor. Usually, he would wait for someone to finish their sentence. “How do you know that they won't at least try for you?” “Lucifer, you just don't get it.”

His crush was there, Belphie grew to accept it. But that didn't mean that his brothers would accept it too, who exactly his love went to. It wasn't something so scandalous, that they wouldn't forgive him for the next millennium of years, but it was indeed a crush that would make everyone uncomfortable around him, even his own twin brother. His crush, it was sudden, it was building up. At last, it won't go away and Belphie really didn't want to work this out.

At first, he was hoping his crush would go away like the money flying out of Mammon's and Levi's pockets, like the food placed in front of Beel disappearing in a blink of an eye, like Asmodeus and Satan leaving the House of Lamentation and having the fun outside of their family – like Lucifer's sanity went away whenever somebody was annoying him to exhaustion.

In the end, it didn't.

Lucifer didn't make it better, as he was looking at Belphegor concerned, while he was more in a foul mood in that moment and the next days. It's as he was slowly regretting what he said, so he tried to fix it. He was trying to get the youngest open up about it, but it all had a reversed effect. Belphegor was tired, that he didn't realize it sooner.

~*~

Beelzebub was noticing his changing behaviour and was there to ask him what the cause of it was. He on the other hand was averting the question, but that didn't seem to get Beel of his case completely. Instead, he was there as a support, and Belphie was sure then he looks back on it Beel probably knew what was bothering Belphegor.

Asmodeus directly saw what Belphie did. He was making chocolates for his darling for Valentine's Day, as a way to cope with his pining. Even though his older brother teased him, he really didn't do much that was to be taken the wrong way. He was practically harmless in any sense and was only throwing knowing glances at him, as saying that he knows what was up.

Satan takes action which seemed to be after he observed Belphie's behaviour. He gave the youngest something he can cope with his feelings and tumult within. A diary was only a diary and not everything has to be written in there, only what seems to be the most fitting to write at the moment. He could appreciate it at least, that someone was doing a more open approach.

Leviathan may be an awkward demon, but in the end, he was just trying to help him in his own way. Another coping mechanism through stories to understand oneself story better. Maybe that was Leviathan's perception of his reality, that the real world was scary and full of normies and that his world was the world he seemed to fit in more. Belphie wasn't sure that he could be apart of any world though, because he seems to be stuck in reality and fantasy.

Mammon tried to do it the familial way, an advice-giving path. But how much did he really knew about this kind of stuff? Looking at the body language of someone and deducting how they feel, isn't that the answer? How else would you know your feelings are requited or not? Reading behind masks was difficult, but it wasn't as this was something unfamiliar to Belphegor.

Lucifer was the one who opened his eyes. Being content with the present and not wanting to change that, that is exactly what Belphie wanted. He wanted that this _thing_ , interrupting the relationship he already had with the other, to go away, to disappear like his old-self as an angel. It was a bother, but at the same time, he holds to this feeling, accepting it. Accepting this already existing change.

Belphegor wasn't known for having crushes or even expressing feeling overall. In the conversations his brothers have about romantic stuff, he never joins in, because no one caught his attention in that way before. There was rarely anything seducing to him from anyone in any way. Not anybody parts, not any personality traits, not any little details he would notice. He was sure that he has no romantic or sexual interest until this crush happens to be what it is.

His crush wasn't perfect, not even in the slightest, but it was fun to see, be around and talk to them. The reactions, the way of speaking, the way of holding things, their perception, it was all so intriguing to Belphie that someday he started falling, hard. Luckily he was a good actor, often praised for his masking of emotions and manipulation, which he can hold it with proud. He was sure he hadn't made it obvious who he harboured these feelings form that no one may know about that.

“Belphie?”

Except then he was hiding under his covers in his attic room, he sure made it obvious that he had an epiphany.

“Can I come in?”

The days have been shorter, less fulfilling when they were before. It was all because Belphegor was a coward, who didn't want to face the cruel reality of having a crush and eventually they have to find out about it. So whenever he has the chance to he avoided contact with everyone else. He only went to school and meetings, to the necessity and immediately run back home to the attic and locks himself in.

At first, no one has taken big notice on it. Saying that he was now back to his usual self. But then suddenly their perception did change on him and now every once in a while, like now.

He recognizes the voice, but he didn't dare to speak up, as he felt like he didn't have any power to do so. Consequently, he could he footsteps from the door to the bed.

It was quiet for a while, as both neither wanted to speak up. While Belphie was just laying there tensely and waiting for the other party to speak up, the other was looking nervously at wrapped around demon.

“Belphie, there is nothing to be ashamed of.” “Hah, everyone knows already?”

It wasn't desperation, but more of an exasperation. Belphie was so done with it, with this stupid crush, with his stupid family, with their stupid support –

He almost didn't notice that the other party slipped something under his blanket. Almost immediately he could feel his heart drop. Maybe, just maybe, everything wasn't so dumb.

**Author's Note:**

> if you're reading this, i guess thanks for reading?  
> like i really appreciate it, like reading this little indulgent fic of mine  
> (even though it really is still on the lower scale of indulgent for me lol)
> 
> as for the ending, i tried to make everything as ambiguous as it gets and obviously not giving my man's crush a name, because we will never know who that will be.


End file.
